Graduation Evokes Parental Emotion

    Parents have a perspective that we don't always recognize or take advantage of in dealing with our children. We have already gone through most of what our kids are going through now. We have experienced the joys and sorrows of growing up, from thrill of that hard fought victory against an opposing sports team, to the agony of the first date. If we only knew then what we know now. Actually, it is the sorrows as much as the joys that make us grow up.
    Now, however, our "children" are getting ready for a ceremony that has traditionally been looked upon as a passage from childhood into adulthood. Their parents know that there are many joys and sorrows yet to come in their lives. But for the students, as well as for the parents, it marks a change in their lives that cannot be reversed. Nor would we want it reversed. As Oliver Wendel Holmes once said, "it is not so important where we stand, as in what direction we are moving."
    The sense that this is a transition gives me the same feeling that I have experienced on the other occasions of change in my life, and I think it can best be described as a feeling of anticipation, a fear of the unknown. But this time, it is not a fear for myself, but for Jason. And it is not exactly a fear, in the usual sense of that word. It is exciting and scary at the same time.
    When I think of my son graduating, what I wish for more than anything else is to have one more chance to impart some of my parental wisdom on him. I am speaking not of the wisdom that comes from intelligence, but the wisdom that is gained through experience. The fact that I have lived some 25 years longer than he has ought to be, and in fact is, worth something.
    I have come to realize, though, that Micki and I have given him almost 19 years of our experience already. Sure, we will have a few things to tell him when he leaves college, but we have already spoken volumes to him by our example. He will make mistakes, as we have. Hopefully, he will learn from them. We have given him the tools, it is up to him to use those tools to build his future.

--John Heitz